Dear Reader,

Hot take: Confidence is overrated.

Not because confidence is bad (it’s great when it shows up). But because if you wait to feel confident before you speak up, pitch the thing, lead the meeting, or sell your service…

…you’ll keep delaying the exact experiences that would actually make you better.

I did a YouTube Live with my friend Corena Chase (executive coach) and we kept coming back to this:

Confidence is a feeling. Competence is built.
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Confidence tends to be the result. (Not the starting line.) What most people call “confidence issues” are often “competence gaps," and that’s good news—because competence is trainable.

You don’t need a personality transplant. You need reps.

Here’s a simple tool to use this week:

The “nerves as data” check:

When nerves hit before a presentation / sales convo / client call / difficult conversation, ask:
1. Do I need more reps?
2. Do I need to prepare for more variables? (questions, objections, time crunch, someone looking bored, tech weirdness)
3. Do I need a truer story? (Not “I’m amazing!” — something believable like “I’m prepared and I can handle the moment.”)

Also: there’s a difference between reflecting and punishing yourself. Reflection makes you sharper. Punishment makes you smaller.

And one more truth I love: You can perform at a high level even when you’re shaking inside.
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​That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human and the stakes matter.

If you want the full convo with Corena—plus the origin story of why “confidence” gets overhyped—watch the replay here:

👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

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Prefer reading (or in a public place where watching a video feels… like a lot)?

I also wrote this up as a blog post linked here: READ THE BLOG POST​

If this reframed something for you and you’re curious how it applies to your specific work — presentations, meetings, sales conversations, or leadership moments — that’s what my 15-minute strategy sessions are for.

We’ll look at:

• where confidence is getting tangled with skill,
• what competence you actually need to build right now, and
• how to move forward without forcing yourself to feel “ready.”
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It’s practical, grounded, and pressure-free.

“Sometimes anxiety is a message: it’s telling you what needs your attention.”

Let me give you some of mine! See you out there!

Adria
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